Haunted Castle Review by The Successor

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hen the subject of worst Castlevania title comes up, some will vent about Dracula X, Legends, Adventure, or Castlevania 64. All those are laughable choices when something like Haunted Castle exists.

Haunted Castle is the worst Castlevania game that is still worth being mentioned. The only people that will glean any enjoyment from it are those who are romanced by nostalgia or allure of 80s arcade cabinets.
It's true that there is a certain peerless appeal to them. The experience of the arcade was something exceptional. This is partially because of the environment. Either the smell of a 7-11 mini-mart and beep each time someone entered, the dim red and green lighting and flashing bright screens of the local mall's arcade, or that special corner of the skating rink or bowling alley; there was frequently a certain exciting spark to the atmosphere that lent to the event. Then there was the added tension of players actually fighting for their money. At the arcade, there was often a euphoric adrenaline rush that wasn't as easily achieved while playing in the living room.

Beyond that, there were technical aspects. In times when people were so accustomed to 8-bit graphics, the higher resolution sprites, better shading, and generally more colorful and detailed characters and worlds of arcades dazzled players and onlookers. The clanging, wavering, and buzzing FM synthesis that produced the music was powerful, exotic, and a refreshing change from the sounds of the Nintendo and Master System.

Konami, already having a strong foothold in the arcade market, got the idea to make an arcade adaptation of Castlevania, one of the biggest games on the NES.

Konami + Castlevania + Arcade.
It seemed like a successful formula, and by itself, perhaps it was. Castlevania had all the makings of what could have been a magnificent arcade classic; gripping action, a basic yet finely tuned stage by stage format, energetic music, a distinctive setting, and marketable promotional art. However . . . something went horribly wrong.

Haunted Castle arrived in arcades in 1988, two years after Castlevania swept players off their feet on the NES. Haunted Castle is interesting for a Konami arcade game. Some of Konami's most classic games, like Contra and Gradius, originated as arcades, and were scaled down for the home console market. Haunted Castle, however, is derived from an idea that stemmed from the NES, and is a totally different game than Castlevania.

This is pretty cool. Rather than make the same game with better graphics and sound, Konami produced an entirely new entry for their burgeoning series. Nevertheless, there are very strong similarities.

The adventure familiarly follows Simon Belmont defying Dracula's Castle, combating his way to the throne to face the Count. There is a divergence from the story, however. Simon's incentive for hunting Dracula is to rescue his bride, Serena. Dracula crashed their wedding celebration and inexplicably kidnapped Simon's woman. The game decides that's all we really need to know, and then the hunt is on. It is a thoroughly macho affair, with an over muscled man confronting impossible odds to rescue a screaming girl.

Haunted Castle is the first game in the series to adopt the original Castlevania's play style. This is actually worth mentioning because prior games, Vampire Killer and Simon's Quest, deviated from it considerably. Just like Castlevania, this adventure catapults players into a collection of six linear stages; each with a characteristic focus - like a graveyard or clock tower - unique music, and new enemies to introduce. A new stage is accessed when a boss monster is defeated. Along the way are devious obstacles, like platforming challenges and tricky enemies. Sub-weapons that are powered by hearts along with weapon upgrades help players deal with perils. There aren't any candles that retain items this time around. Everything is gathered from slain enemies, but other than that, it operates roughly the same as the original game.

A totally unique Castlevania game for arcade that revisits the best executed gameplay format for the series at the time. That sounds good on paper, but immense problems become manifest within the first forty or so seconds of play.

The first things most are going to notice are probably the looks. They're both repulsive and endearing. The backgrounds often have good ideas and are carried out very well. The first stage – a graveyard – is set to a backdrop of mountains and really cool meandering mansions at the foothills that cause the mind to wonder about who or what lives in them. Early in the second stage, an outstanding castle silhouette looms over the environment, and later on, the sky turns a moody scarlet hue, while the battle wages in a foggy landscape where odd ashen structures serve as footing. The third stage is a hallway gilded with several mesmerizing paintings that cause the eye to go from the action upfront to investigate the décor of Dracula's abode. One of the most intriguing parts is when Simon is inexplicably transported to another dimension where everything is shrouded in soft white and blue tones and anomalous ruins occupy the background. This only lasts for about thirteen seconds and then Simon is sent right back to where he was, leaving players questioning exactly what happened and why. There was never anything remotely like it in Castlevania before. There are truly creative and eclectic backgrounds in Haunted Castle. That's awesome, but they're unfortunately offset by extremely silly or ugly looking characters.

Most of the monsters are poorly drawn and stupid looking. Occasionally, an attractive boss will appear, like Frankenstein's Monster or Dracula, but usually they're extraordinarily unsightly. There's another side to this coin, however. Some may argue that Haunted Castle is deliberately cheesy; and it is, to a degree. This is apparent by ridiculous, overdone sound effects and a Halloween-ish soundtrack. Therefore, the silly enemies could be part of the classic horror movie appeal, where outlandish creatures are supposed to instill legitimate fear into viewers, but often come off as laughable with today's perspective. In some instances, there might be allusions to that, but others are so bad that it's apparent they're products of dimwitted design.

It's almost impossible to play Haunted Castle with at least one other person watching, without someone, at some time, mentioning Simon Belmont's walking animation.
I'd like to take a moment to show quotes taken from the comments section of a Haunted Castle video from the Chapel of Resonance's Youtube Channel, and a post from the Anti-Chapel Forum.

"lol he's walking like I do when I take a shit then realize there is no toilet paper and I have to go down stairs to get some. . ."

"As for Simon's walking animation: he had a rough night on the bed with mr.Big xD"

As crude as these statements are, Simon's walking animation is just the type of image they would put in your head. The diaper walk is too much to forgive. There's no charming element to it at all. It also doesn't help that Simon's sprite is hideous, even when idle.

Haunted Castle is ugly in the since that many first generation Playstation games are ugly. At the time, people were marveling at the jagged, texture-less cutting edge polygons. Likewise, back in the day, Haunted Castle probably impressed onlookers with its technically superior graphics compared to home consoles. However, the true reality is that it is visually much worse than any of the NES Castlevania games. A few people can smile at Haunted Castle's graphics and see intentionally corny charm, but it's probably the ugliest Castlevania game. It's hard to say that, because there are genuinely great things going on in the backgrounds, but the characters are so bad they suck nearly all the attraction out of everything.

If its ugliness is intentional, it's a joke someone went too far with, and the intentions don't change the outcome, regardless.

With all that said, players usually only have about ten seconds to ponder the visuals before they buckle under the absurdly heavy difficulty. The biggest problem with Haunted Castle, and what makes it the worst game in the series more than any of its other blunders, is its outrageous level of challenge.

It should be noted that there are at least four different versions of Haunted Castle. The American versions are labeled M and K, and the Japanese versions are N and P. The difficulty between them is striking, but it's a hard game any way you play it. The most common edition is also the worst - version M.

Haunted Castle's difficulty is so mind boggling that it wouldn't be too ludicrous to think it's a completely defective game; which, in a sense, it is. It is hard to believe it was approved by someone and made its way to the public market. As soon as the first stage, there are things that can kill Simon in two hits. Bad hit detection doesn't help. With the default whip, enemies must be struck by a certain part of it to take damage. There are also totally unpredictable and cheap attacks. In the second stage, you may strike a skeleton, but then a spirit comes out of it and rushes forward quickly. Who would be ready for that? It's true that many vintage action games are often about trial and error, memorizing patterns, and knowing what's coming up next, but the real kicker is that the skeleton spirit may tear off half of Simon's health in as early as the second stage, and there's no way anyone would see that coming. Simon's attacks don't do much to slow down assailants. As they're hit, they'll keep charging. If weapon upgrades that allow fewer strikes to kill enemies aren't collected, doom is inevitable. Acquiring the most up to date weaponry is a must, but it's easy to miss them.

Haunted Castle is really stingy with upgrades. Weapon upgrades aren't based on Simon's amount of hearts, as they were in Castlevania. You must wait for specific moments and often specific enemies. As an example, the most powerful weapon, the sword, cannot be found until the third stage. This works the same for sub-weapons. Going more into sub-weapons, hearts, which power them, are so rare that you will not be able to rely on them much.

To make matters worse, you are granted only one life. When that life expires, the game expects you to insert another coin to continue playing. You can sometimes save yourself from certain doom by inserting another credit and boosting your life bar. This is really useful, because you won't have to start back at an earlier part of the stage, but it would be much preferred if one coin granted three lives.

It doesn't stop there. No matter how many credits you're willing to sacrifice, Haunted Castle only allows three continues. The game will start you back at the beginning, no matter how far you were into it, or whether or not you actually died or just boosted your life bar. Three credits and that's it.

It goes without saying how brainless all this is. Haunted Castle is meant to make money. All arcades are. Yet, no matter how much players spend to beat the game, it dampens everything by banishing them back to the start after it eats three of their credits. It gives the same kind of disappointment and anger as seeing some idiot knock over a really impressive house of cards or sand castle you spent time and scrupulous effort building.

It doesn't make any sense. This is a foolish enough system by itself, but when the game is as cruel as Haunted Castle, it takes it to all new levels. Why would someone put up with this type of masochism when they're supposed to be playing a game? It's possible to make a coin-eater and make it engaging, but Haunted Castle is not that. It's backwards and counterproductive.

Like the graphics, the audio goes from quality stuff to downright laughable. The sound effects are really mixed. Some great samples are heard, like the neat wolf howl that is cued when a credit is inserted; Simon's wife has a convincing scream when she's kidnapped by Dracula and rain falling and thunder clapping add agreeably to the atmosphere. On the other hand, some are way over exaggerated and these tend to be ones that are heard too often, such as Simon's grunting when he suffers damage or the ridiculous death cries of zombies and crows. It starts out being funny, but gets irritating after a while.

The most enjoyable aspect of Haunted Castle is the soundtrack.
The music produced by the synth is powerful and raw, flowing with good hooks and melodies, emanating the sharp and hearty tones of a 80s arcade cabinet with an amusingly spooky shade. The soundtrack is a bit overstated at times, with its loud break dance drum sounds and heavy preprogrammed drum rolls. It's forceful and straightforward, presenting one witty and cute nocturne after another. Konami must have realized the soundtrack has exceptional stuff, since they dipped into its repertoire of tunes and resurrected some for recent games.

As obscure and bad as Haunted Castle is, there are several instances of other games looking to it for inspiration. The Stained Glass Knight that appears in Castlevania 64 and Chronicles is first present in Haunted Castle, as is the crumbling bridge sequence, tree spirits, Bone Dragon King, and a piece of art in the background that cries bloody tears. As mentioned, creativity abounds, and it's really good that Konami saw there were things worth salvaging from this shipwreck. Haunted Castle makes worthwhile contributions to the series . . . along with its comedic value.

Despite whatever good ideas it offers here and there, at the end of the day, Haunted Castle is an inexcusably poor game. It's a mess; horribly programmed, sprited, and tested. It would be really interesting to ask the developers exactly why the game is the way it is, because there's no good excuse for paid professionals to put something like this out there.

Even the few who like Haunted Castle realize how bad it is. It doesn't really matter much because it isn't an influential release. It's more or less a small side dish. If it appeared with a higher profile on something like the Nintendo or Super Nintendo, there would have been the Devil to pay. Those who celebrate Haunted Castle mainly do so because of its blatantly corny style, as well as that arcade romanticism. Of course, those are acquired niche tastes; not everyone's going to like that type of cheese in there Castlevania, nor is everyone going to have that appreciation for ancient arcades. Aside from a good soundtrack and interesting background art, that's all that's there. The rest is a mish-mash of boring level design that usually just has you walking in a straight line, broken boss fights that can be exploited with a sub-weapon, ugly characters, and outrageously unfair difficulty.

Haunted Castle is only playable if you learn to work around its overwhelming flaws and become a pro at it. The problem is the game just isn't fun enough to put in that amount of effort. And even when you are good enough to beat it, it's still only mildly amusing at best.

Anyone who gets curious enough to play Haunted Castle probably should, and probably will, stop playing after about five minutes.

If you do decide to play Haunted Castle, be sure to get one of the Japanese versions and, if possible, avoid Version M. Regardless of the version, the verdict stands:
Haunted Castle is the worst Castlevania game that is still worth being mentioned.