-it's the very first thing you think of at the slightest mention of the words 'vampire', 'Belmont', 'whip', 'eclipse', or 'Dracula'

-you play Megaman and wonder where all the candles went

-you read Bram Stoker's novel and expect Death to make an appearance

-the idea of whips, candles, and muscular men in tight leather armor isn't kinky; it's badass

-Matthew 16:26 tops the Bible verses you know by heart

-you refer to all videogame super moves as 'Item Crash'

-going all out means shouting, "Behold my true form and DESPAIR!"

-you throw crosses and expect them to come back

-you go to confession and jump out when the priest turns to you

-you've witnessed a beautiful sunset and all you can say is, "What a horrible night to have a curse."

-you're deathly afraid of bats, ravens, and hunchbacks

-your coaster is a Van Helsing DVD

-you are personally insulted by Captain N's Simon Belmont

-you can quote any piece of dialogue from Symphony Of The Night. Any.

-you're compelled to snuff out candles and fatten your wallet

-you're compelled to break walls and check for meat

-you'd love to name your kids Trevor, Simon, Richter, Sonia, etc.

-you're aware of the following: HOD was originally supposed to be for PS2, SOTN was to have a fifth ending, Hammer could have been playable in DOS, Richter's unused attacks made it to POR, Dracula came back in Simon's Quest because of a sixth relic, and the candles are the souls of those taken by Death or the vampires.

-you have your own version of the series' timeline and are prepared to argue your side endlessly

-you can name the item drops of at least ten enemies from any of the Castletroids. Flawlessly.

-you bought a console/handheld specifically for a new game

-you downloaded Order Of Shadows whether you paid for it or not.

-you regularly vote for Simon Belmont or Alucard to appear in Brawl

-you claim that Dracula, not Andre Malraux, coined "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!".

-you suspect your local librarian of hoarding a secret stash beneath his chair

-you kneel by rivers and wait for a path below the waves to open up

-you've attempted Lament's whip combos with a leather belt (or an official Konami Castlevania whip for that matter)

-you tell Star Wars fans not to look at the Death Star or they'll die.


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